Last night, in a moment of deep vulnerability, when I was wearing my skin inside out, I came face to face with an ugly, rank, rotten part of my inner self. In the interest of self preservation, it was buried in a crevice far beyond the reach of my consciousness; it was never meant to float to the surface; it was never meant to pollute the clear waters of self perception. I stumbled upon it by accident, at a time when I was more breakable than the finest glass. I wanted to run away, faster than thought; but how do I escape myself? how do I hide from me? I spent most of the night tethered on the edge of sanity and eventually fell into exhausted sleep.
When I opened my eyes in the light of day, I found to my relief that feelings of hatred and revulsion had not survived the night. I felt sympathy and compassion for that diseased part of myself that had spent all this time hiding in darkness, too ashamed to be seen. While I slept, my mind had gathered the strength to accept this undesirable patch on my soul. I curled into foetal position and held myself close while memories of fear, insecurities and acidic experiences accumulated since early childhood slowly and noiselessly seeped out of me. I became aware of how this shadow had fallen. A rush of endless, unconditional love for my battered soul filled me.
It was time to lick my wounds. It was time to wake up and face another day.It was time to walk again.
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