Deception

A call on his hand phone distracted him from the loud cackle of his friends. His eyes automatically scanned the display flashing the number. It was her. He had promised to return her call when she had called earlier in the day.  But he was caught up in work and then his colleagues/friends coaxed him into getting a drink at the neighbourhood watering hole. It had been a long hard day with screaming clients and impossible deadlines. He could use a drink.

Once he was two drinks down, his body and mind began to unwind. Sometimes nothing helps one de-stress more than mindless banter with random friends. The phone stopped ringing in time. He was mildly relieved and focused his attention on the guy talk. He ordered another drink. His phone came back to life, this time with an SMS. It was a message from her, "Babe, please call me. I don't feel good". He felt a slight pang.

She was feeling low, the past couple of days. He had been meaning to have a long chat with her, cheer her up, the way only he could. Tell her that he loved her. That always made her feel better.

He really did love her. He felt about her in a way that even he couldn't understand. She had saved his life.

His treacherous mind sucked him into that time in his past that he tried to get away from each day. A little over a year ago his life had crashed around him,he was boxed in from every direction. It seemed like redemption was impossible. He even considered ending it all. 

At the time, she had pulled him out of a black hole each day, brushed him down and given him the hope and courage he needed to see through the day. The next day, she did it all over again. She healed him with love, faith and hope till one day he was ready to come back to life. He was indebted to her.

Brij nudged him back to the present. He shook his head to get rid of the painful memories. Shrikant was in the middle of joke about a new female colleague who had lately been the prime victim of his humour. The group guffawed at the inappropriate joke. He smiled feebly. His thoughts went back to her. He knew, he really should call her right away. She needed him. Her never ending family problems had taken a heavy toll on her lately. He was the only one she could really talk to. He was the only one who could give her the comfort she desperately needed. 

He just didn't feel up to it. He was mentally exhausted, tired of dealing with life's problems. God knows he had more than enough of his own. For now, he just wanted to down a few drinks, enjoy his temporary state of numbness. The last thing he wanted was to hear her crib and complain for an hour and then use every last bit of energy left in him to console and comfort her. Damn! Why couldn't he live a carefree life for a day, away from all this bull shit.

His thoughts were interrupted when his phone started ringing. It was her. He panicked. It was not like her to call again unless it was a matter of dire urgency. He picked up the phone and stepped out, found a quiet corner and took the call. " Hey Baby", he said in a conciliatory tone. From the other end, he heard the sound of her crying. She could barely breathe. She must have been crying for a while. "I've been trying to get in touch with you the entire day, you didn't take my calls. I even sent an SMS. You know I don't bother you this way unless it is important. Why are you ignoring me Shiv?", she managed to blurt out in between sobs. His heart began to pound hard. What was he supposed to tell her? He couldn't possibly tell her that he just didn't feel like talking to her that day. It would break her heart. He was seriously stuck. She was patiently waiting for a response. He knew he was running out of time. Even before the idea had taken solid shape in his head, he heard these words fall out of his mouth, " I am so sorry love, You wont believe it if I told you... the kind of day I've had. It was terrible". "Tell me", She said. His instinct told him to really sell it, he just had to get back in the safe zone with her. 

"Do your remember Sid from my office? You met him at the office party."

"Yes, of course. Nice chap. What about him?"

"Babe, he met with an accident on his way to work today. Its pretty bad. I am still in the hospital. So I could not speak to you when you called"

"Oh Shiv! That's terrible. I am so sorry. Damn it! I should have known you had a very good reason for disappearing like this. And here I was working myself up, thinking you are insensitive and callous. I hate myself sometimes. Am so sorry baby..."

"Don't beat yourself up. You didn't know"

"I won't keep you any longer. Hope Sid will be okay"

"Okay babe. I'll call you as soon as I can".

He hung up .He leaned on a wall, closed his eyes and held his phone to his chest. He waited for it to sink in. What had just happened? Did he just tell her a terrible lie? Did the lies really roll off his tongue that easy?

He looked around for some place to sit. He was consumed with guilt. He was unable to make sense of his own actions. Why the hell did he lie in the first place? She was the most understanding person he knew. If he had just been honest with her and told her he had a rough day at work and needed some to unwind before he spoke to her, she would have totally understood. She had always given him enough and more space. She loved him and accepted him just the way he was, a little rough around the edges. She knew he could he insensitive at times and she always understood. Why did he lie to the woman he loved? What was wrong with him? He ran his hand over his hair and shut his eyes tight. Even then tears threatened to break lose. Somewhere in his core he knew why he did what he did. He liked the easy way out. So much easier to just lie and make an unpleasant situation go away than under go the discomfort of confrontation. He was a jerk sometimes. It was as simple as that.

On the other side of town she was lying in bed clutching the pillow under her head. Tears rolled down and disappeared into the pillow leaving an expanding moist circle. Her insides hurt as she shook with grief. She wanted to disappear into his strong arms. She wanted to hear him whisper in his soothing voice that he will heal her of this pain. She rolled over, wiped her tears and pushed these thoughts out her head. He would have been with her, if he could. He was with someone who needed him much more.
She hoped, Sid was okay.